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call and ask if your profile has ever been on "soft hold". They don't volunteer that information becasue soem people find the rollercoaster too much to handle, knowing that they were being considered and then not chosen.
Soft hold is when your profile has been given to a bmom too take home and pray about. One of many she may pick out in the office and then decide from.
I was told that the average wait time would be 18 months. We waited just over a year. We also didn't end up getting an infant, we were open to any and all children and we were shown profiles of older LDS kids in foster care quite often. I wouldn't change what qualities you're open to just to be shown more often, but you may want to do a bit more research and see if you need to adjust something if you haven't ever been on soft hold.
I didn't see soft holds as being rejected, I saw it as something moving forward. One year no news would have killed me, I needed to see evidence of things happening. And I limited myself to only calling once a month to see what had been happening that month...and the secretary could tell me, I didn't need to bother my case worker (who also handled bfamilies).
We waited 8 years after being married before applying to adopt. We had been childless for nearly 10 when we were finally chosen. We also had a failed match, and we turned down some situations that didn't feel right. There is nothing else I can think of that lets you live hand in hand with God and lets you feel him guiding your every move. Discouragement is part of the deal unfortunately, but the pure insiration I felt constantly was worth it. I know in my heart the experience of adopting was without a doubt the most spiritual thing I have ever done, nothing else FORCES you to rely on God's will for so long, like adoption...
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