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It sounds like you may want to try again but are afraid. I think a lot of us are afraid to walk through doors that hold an uncertainty behind them.
You mentioned that you have rarely felt loved. That is soo sad. I'm wondering though if that is why you want/need to find your bmom now. As you well know, to find our bfamily is no guarantee of love or anything else for that matter. There are so many unknowns. It does sound like your bmom wants to know you and that is wonderful. Reunion is so emotional and does bring with it some issues too so I guess one needs to be in a good place within themselves to embark on this journey.
Maybe talking with an adoptee savvy counselor would help to sort things out for you?
No matter what you decide remember we are all here for you.
Snuffie
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