[rachel72]

I only found out a few years ago that my mother had a child before my brother and me. she gave him up at birth (he always knew) but never said anything to me or my brother so it was a huge shock as we're all in our late 30's! i was quite excited at first as i had always dreamed of having another brother but it turns out he wasn't that bothered about getting to know us. i'm trying so hard to figure out where his head is at but just can't.. i'm trying to put myself in his position but can't. i imagine he must be angry, hurt etc.. but not sure if this is directed at us or my mother. he met my mother a few years ago as i think he was curious. he was given to a lovely family and had a great upbringing by all accounts and has done very well for himself. he now has quite a few children of his own who i would love to get to know. my mother is in bits trying to get some sort of response from him but knowning he is probably angry with her and was just curious. it's so heart breaking to see her so upset, waiting for an email or phone call or letter.. but she gets an odd email every year or so.. nothing much in it. he doesn't seem to want to get to know any of us. although, oddly enough, my mother believes he might want to meet me rather than my brother has he was the son she 'kept' in his eyes perhaps? it's so confusing.. i was just wondering if anybody had any advice about how i can approach things with him. i've emailed a couple of times and he always responds nicely and last time suggested we meet up sometime in the future but that was it.. that was over a year ago. i emailed again a few months back and am waiting for a response. i don't want to push him or scare him off.. will we ever have a relationship? i just wonder if even emailing him might be scaring him off as i don't want him to think i'm doing it on my mother's behalf (which I'm not). what should i do.. just be there on an email in the future if he changes his mind.. we're not getting any younger and our children as just getting older.. i want him to be part of my life.. does he?