Happy Birthday to your little one today!!
It has been almost 18 years for me, but I remember the first birthday not being as hard as I anticipated. Maybe it was because, like you, I didn't allow myself to sit around and dwell on what I had missed up to that point. I have always done something special for myself on his bday, it helps to keep my mind busy. I also write a special bday letter for him.
There is no right or wrong to what you do to deal with birthdays, this one or future ones to come. Of course you love him, but sitting around crying and falling apart is not going to benefit either of you, take care of you!
Lean on us, we are here
