[echaos]

Are you adopting through Children's Aid or a "private" agency. We are in Halifax and adopted through Home of the Guardian Angel.

Our situation was slightly different as we were involved in a designated adoption. An acquaintance from work, who knew we were trying to conceive a baby, approached my partner one day and asked her if we had ever considered adoption as her sister was 6 months pregnant. Her sister wanted to place the baby with a couple that she had had the opportunity to meet and not just a couple that she read about in an agency's binder. We discussed it and decided to meet with her. We all clicked, and she called us later that day to say that she wanted us to adopt her baby!!

She then had to sign Designated Adoption papers that named us specifically as the adopting parents. We had 3 months until she was due to get a home study done (these usually take 6-9 months). She wanted us there for the birth, so we got the call one night at midnight and we trouped down to be with her. At the last minute she had to have a c-section, and could only have one person in the OR with her, so her sister went in. The staff at the IWK were great and took our camera in and took pics for us as soon as he was born.

We got to spend 3 days at the hospital, in our own room with Liam. We got to do all the feedings, baths etc... His bmother was in another room in another wing. She decided from the get go that she did not want to see him. She was fabulous. She told all the staff that he was our baby and that all decisions should be made by us. She even sent the Welcome Wagon lady down to see us!

When he was ready to be released from the hospital, the SW for HGA picked him up and took him to the receiving home. Again, because it was a designated adoption, his bmother gave us permission (actually insisted that HGA let us) to visit him in the receiving home during the 17 days. So we've been with him everyday of his life!

On day 17, his bmother went in and signed all her paperwork. She declined the option to see him that day. After she left, the foster mother brough him in and we went in to sign our paper work and left with our baby!! What a fabulous day!

Because we were 99% confident that she was not going to change her mind during the 17 days, we had a nursery all set up, clothes, bottles etc.. ready to go.

With NS adoptions that are not designated, the bmother selects a family from their bios. They are not contacted until day 16. We have heard of people being on a list for 4 years + and then getting "The Call" out of the blue and having a baby the next day!

I would almost have wanted to go this route (not that I would have wanted to miss one second of Liam's life) because the stress of falling in love with this beautiful baby for 17 days and know that there is even the slightest chance of the bmother changing her mind is gut-wrenching. At first on the day we were to pick him up I refused to get out of the car, and then I refused to bring the car seat into the agency, as I was so scared that he wasn't going to be there. My partner finally snapped me out of it and we went in and there he was!!

Once the 17 days are over, and the bmother has signed her paperwork, she has no legal recourse to change her mind, and you have no risk of losing the baby. The agency does 5-6 monthly follow up visits, writes up a report for the goverment, who then sends the paperwork to your lawyer. Your lawyer then books a court date with Family Court, goes and represents you (we are going to go along to for the celebration) and then the judge makes it legal and you get your babies birth certificate. From the time the baby is in your home, this all takes 7-9 months, depending on how backed up the courts are.

Also, in NS, we get 8 months parental leave, and not the 1 year maternity leave that our non-adopting co-workers get. The difference is the medical leave given to bmothers.

I wish you the best of luck and hope that I have been able to answer some of your questions. let me know how things are going for you