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counselor
Hi -- I recommend that you and your husband find a good counselor and talk about all that this topic brings up for both of you. A third party who is trained to delve into the roots of what both of you as individuals are feeling could help you both to understand each other. Do you know any therapists? Have any of your friends mentioned going to a counselor? Even committing to go together for a few months, just to get at the heart of what each of you is feeling could help a lot. A few years ago, my husband and I were going around and around about a topic (it wasn't adoption) and I did what I always swore I would do if we were at a place where we weren't able to get through a problem together: I called a therapist. We went about once a week for 5-6 months. Our insurance didn't cover it and it was about $150 a week, but it was well worth the expense. We heard each other in new ways, were able to understand each other better (this after more than a decade of marriage), and we both saw the commitment to each other that we had. I highly recommend seeing someone in this heart-breaking time. Best to you and I wish you peace and comfort.
With best regards,
Jen G
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