[zempagirl]

When you “matched” with an emom, did you feel like you should interview her?
What we had was called a match meeting and the bmom picks one or several families to meet and talk. So in a sense it is an interview for the adoptive parents. We basically talked about ourselves how we met, how we grew up, what envisioned our adoption to be like, and she would be a part of the childs life.

Or consider if you would want her presence in your life and what that meant?
After she asked us to be A's parents we did a contact agreement which we legalized in court. It covered things such as number of visits, letters, pictures, and special occasion that she wanted to be involved in until he is 16. Then at 16 he will decide the smount of contact he wants with her. Fortunately for us we get along very well with her and see her about every 6weeks and have a lot of contact via email and calls.

Did the agency help you understand the implications of an OA and having lifelong contact with the emom?
Yes, our agency provide the foot work for the contact agreement and support to the bmom after the adoption. The emphasis that contact is a two way street and that you should be honest while putting together your contact agreement. So they were very helpful.


Having seen the other side, I know the agency we used did a lot of counseling around what the emom’s criteria was and then finding parents who fit the criteria AND she felt comfortable with. Just wondering if that’s a two way street?

At our agency there is a parent profile book that bmom look through and read and then they can read the parents homestudies as well to get more info. So basically the bmom is finding out for herself which parents seem to have the same values or interests as her which usually makes the bmom feel a connection to the parents.

Hope that helps