Unfortunately relinquishment is about sacrifice whether it be in order to pursue a dream of being a model, or simply a sacrifice that allows one to complete highschool, or escape being ostracized, or a myriad of other reasons.
Your post does make one wonder about what most adoptees probably avoid thinking about as a defense mechanism: "What if my birthmother is
better off than I am?"
I think in a secretive way, many adoptees envision that they have had a better life than their birthmothers. It helps to even out the creeping feelings of abandonment, and cushion them for the wost if upon their reunion/revelation they find that their birthparents are criminals or career homeless.
Recently in the news, a male adoptee in the USA found out that he is in fact an African Prince.
It is interesting that you are uneasy with the prospect of how your birthmother has thrived in your absence. Consider this:
Many celebrities and people in the public eye, also have many secret problems. It could be that despite your mother's success a part of her is damaged all the same by having to relinquish you to adoption.
In part, I guess reunion can cause one to be introspective about their worth. When you feel uneasy about the apparent happiness and fortune of those in your birthfamily try to remember the positive sequences in your own life that you would have been denied had you not been adopted. Think about the good things you have now and today and realize that you are lucky to be reunited and on the road to closure.
My Best Regards,
Ray Buffer
www.raybuffer.com
www.adoptee.2ya.com
Director
Adoptees Caucus for Truth (ACT)
http://act.vze.com
Board Member and Registry Owner
Florida Search Network
www.floridasearchnetwork.web1000.com/
www.reunion.vze.com
Moderator
Adoptee Activists
www.activist.vze.com
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