Hi everybody,
I had to pipe in here with my related experience, hope it helps. My husband and I went through the infertility experience. Our moral beliefs dictated how far we felt we could go. I personally felt that when one door closes another opens, so when we started having difficulty, I started looking around for the other door. My heart was yelling out ADOPTION, so I said great lets get started. This is about the time I realized my husband had stepped out of the room. He kept looking for something we did wrong or could do better, feeling that we just hadn't tried long or hard enough. I was upset, and took it out on him initially. Then I started to realize how difficult this was for him, I was ashamed for trying to push him MY way. I prayed alot and realized what I needed to do.
First I had to remind myself about my commitment to him, then I had to accept the possibility that my path might follow another direction all togather(this did not happen overnight). Then I sat down with my hubby, and poured my heart out. I didn't sugar coat anything, I told him how I felt about us, children, our life puposes, etc. Then I told him I would NO LONGER pressure him on this. That if and when he felt as strongly about adopting as I did, he needs to come to me, and let me know. Because I knew we would need each other to do this.
About two of the longest, and most difficult months of my life, later. My husband came up to me and told me that he has been thinking alot about this, and realized his heart was also yelling ADOPTION. YEA!
I am so thankful every day that I had the strength and patience to wait for him. Now we are in the process together 100%, he is every bit as excited and involved as me. I hope this will encourage others going through similar situations. It always helps to take a stroll in the others shoes.
Anna
