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I have to add, my younger children (3, 4, 6 at placement) have been harder than the older (10, 11 at placement). Per pre adoption reports, one of the younger (6) was known to be sexually abused. At least 4 of them were actually abused and I will probably never know about the youngest. Two of those have perpetrated, one of them on the youngest, so I guess we can count him also. I would NEVER bring a child into my home that was older than my youngest (bio or adopted). I would NEVER expose kids outside the system to the very, very high risk of abuse. I'm an optimist, and yet living with constant vigilance can wear anyone down. If you want to adopt, wait until later, there will still be lots of needy kids out there. Try working for CASA, or take your kids and volunteer at a shelter if you want to get involved now.
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