i think knowing these words has been empowering for me....
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Quote:
Originally Posted by julie23
i did not give her to them.... i gave them to her.
OMGosh!! That is perfect, wonderful!!!
WOW!!
Thanks (again) for the new words!!
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when i wrote:
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I listen too much sometimes to what people write here... i think.
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i was thinking of the numerous occasions i have read "birthmoms abandon their babies... " or how many times i have read from adoptees how they feel so abandoned... and even books label it "abandonment issues"... and the term abandonment so often plastered on me... and it never feels right... i did try it on for a while... but it doesn't fit...
often times i read about adoptees who have to come to terms with "being given away"... and gosh, it's like fingernails on a chalk board...
i did not give away my baby...
but somehow, after five years of being around here, my mental picture of "what happened" 22 years ago, is of me handing the adoptive parents my baby... this didn't actually happen, back then the social worker took care of it all... but this is the only picture i can muster up... and it looks like i'm giving her away...
and that is not what happened....
with my new way of thinking, i am replacing that picture...
and i have a new mental picture... of me, standing in front of my baby's cradle.... and then, i step aside, and allow the adoptive parents to step into the parenting role of this baby...
that feels more right...
I consented to the adoption.
I gave THEM PERMISSION to parent my baby....
Wilted Rose..... i don't know where i will end up with this.... but it does seem to be part of my journey today.
j