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Sometimes I feel a tinge of jealousy when I look at a woman with a swollen pregnant belly or a newborn baby, but since my son came home that's mostly dissipated.
We were young when we got married, only tried to conceive for 6 months before finding out my DH, at 21, was infertile, and went back and forth over the decision to pursue adoption or fertility treatments for only a few months before settling on adoption. Honestly, if we'd known adoption was an option for people in our age group I'm not totally certain we would have tried to conceive at all. We had both always planned to adopt some day, though I'd never heard of anyone under age 30 who adopted so I assumed we wouldn't be qualified, and we were in fact turned away repeatedly from places that we actually did qualify for, like county foster care.
Of course, there's still a possibility of trying again to conceive. We didn't try the infertility treatments, and DH's urologist believes we'd have a high likelihood of success with IUI. In fact we were both rather certain that we would indeed pursue it sometime within the next few years, however once I actually held my son in my arms... suddenly the urge isn't all that pressing. And there are still soooo many kids that need homes, so many we could take in.
It's funny, I think, that DH is the one with the fertility problem as he's also the one that wasn't certain about having a biological child. I was the one that wanted the experience of being pregnant and setting up the nursery and having a baby shower and giving birth and nursing... Although I never felt a need to pass on my genes. And those 6 months of TTC were some of the hardest of my life. I think that, as crappy as it sounds to hear it, some people are simply not meant to become pregnant and give birth. At this point I'm so glad it didn't work! I wouldn't have Paxton if it did.
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