for me, the whole court thing is a fuzzy blur... . i remember going... i remember sitting there... and i remember saying "yes"... when the insides of me were screaming "no"... but i pretty much don't remember anything that anyone said... or even, what it was i was saying "yes" to... and i just remember crying... i remember trying to nod my head "yes"... and being told I had to say it....
and I guess, one thing that has been a struggle for me, was defining exactly what it was that i did... i know that sounds weird... but in my mind, I did NOT give away my daughter... I did not abandon my daughter.... i think of those things as being different than what i did... but then, i ask "how?'"
and hearing the legal definition of it all was very helpful to me...
i did not relinquish my daughter.
I DID relinquish my parent rights... and i don't see those as the same thing... but some, i'm sure, would argue that they are the same...
but i contest... i say, no... i did not stand up there and say, YES.. i give away this baby.
i said yes... i give up any rights i have to parent this baby... to make any future decisions regarding her well being... I gave up MY rights.... i did not give up the baby... it may seem i am splitting hairs here... but they are important to me...
i relinquished... abandoned... gave away... MY RIGHTS.
not the baby.
i did not abandon or give away that baby....
and yes, i agreed to the adoption of this baby by another family....
i agreed that a different mom and dad could provide the care that she needed... that they could parent her.....
i agreed that she would have a new mom and dad who claim those parental rights that i just relinquished....
i did not give her to them.... i gave them to her.
and yes.. you could argue, that i am splitting hairs here..... and that it is just all semantics...
but... they didn't ask me if i am relinquishing this baby... they didn't ask me if i am giving her away...
Quote:
I remember standing in front of the judge.. and giving up my parental rights..
He told me that when I signed the papers he was no longer my son..
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when i sort things... sometimes i find myself back at the very beginning... and sorting it again... and that is where i am at now... i don't know why.
but this is what i am sorting.... what did i do when i signed the papers? what did i agree to when i said yes?
i listen too much sometimes to what people write here... i think.
i had to sort it... to ask, is this my daughter? who is she and what part did i have in it? maybe i could give you a million reasons why she is not my daughter... b
but i did not give her away. i did not abandon her. i did not throw her away. i did not relinquish her.
j