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Originally Posted by daveandmina
Well, we just got our first call. I have mixed feelings; he is a 6 week old baby boy born with crack in his system and mom admits to drinking while pregnant, however I don't know how much. He was 2 weeks early and weighed 5 lbs. ? ounces. He now weighs 7 lbs. ? ounces. He had difficulty bottle feeding at first but is doing well now. He had no withdrawal symptoms in the hospital and was released within a week. Bmom is young and this is her first baby. We will meet with all the workers on Tues. to hear the full report but that seems to be all the info everyone has as of now.
I've done my research and know the side effects of alcohol. I know they are worst than any other drug. And I know that most people find them the most difficult to deal with. But I have two questions:
1. If this baby does have FAS what will I see specifically? What type of day to day struggles will we have with this child if we decide to adopt him?
2. Would you adopt a child with FAS? Is the heartache too much?
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I understand your concerns. We have adopted two children who had unknown amounts of exposure to substance (crack, alcohol, nicotine, other unknown) during pregnancy. There are so many factors that have to be considered and the truth is, from my understanding, that one can never know the full effect for a child until early adolescence when the child starts to make independent, logical decisions. So many factors go into how the substances affect the child including the amount and timing of use, as well as nutrition and the metabolism of both mother and child. TEsting positive at birth but with no withdrawal symptoms MAY indicate (but I'm no doctor...just a mom) that there wasn't longterm overuse, although that even sounds crazy because even one time use could cause effects if the timing is wrong. I'm sorry that I can't offer anything definite, but I would suggest that you contact a pediatric specialist to discuss, preferably someone with experience in prenatal exposure.
Has the baby been diagnosed specifically with FAS? The only way that would be done would be if the child displays specific facial features. But just because there are no facial features, it doesn't mean that there is no effect. That's way this is considered a "spectrum" diagnosis. You just don't know what the outcome might be and what we did was try to be prepared for the worst case when we open this possibility for our family.
OUr son was negative for substances at birth but went through withdrawal for six weeks. Currently at 19 months he is on par and a tad pessimistic (aka tantrums) and very high-spirited, stubborn and well, very active too, but I think that's personality more than anything and let's face it, he's nearly two and a boy and life is crazy fun at this age!
Our daughter was not tested at birth and has had no known effects to this point. She is almost 4.
And would we do it again? Yes. We just might, depending on how the next year of our lives play out, this time foster-adoption. Our children are amazingly creative and full of life and very, very loving. Will there be heartache in our life at times because our children might struggle? Yes. But not necessarily because they have prenatal exposure. Every child's future is uncertain, full of possibilities good and not so easy to take. There are many on here (see the Special Needs section) whose situations are quite difficult. Read their stories too.
If you've done your research and if the symptoms are something you think you can handle, and you think this might be the child to join your family, then go with your gut.