[Saya]

I'll join this thread! Though we're way behind where you are - we haven't even started our homestudy yet! But in our hearts we're full speed ahead - we just have to find time to get going with that darn agency application. (We're using the same agency as last time, but since that was international and this will be domestic, it's a whole new extensive application process.)

It definitely feels different. Last time our goal was just to have a baby as soon as possible - we just felt this overwhelming drive towards parenthood. Now - well Anabel keeps us on our toes so much we look at each other and say HOW on earth are we going to cope with another one? We feel a lot more patient and low key about it - though if you talk to me in 3 years and we still don't have a 2nd child, I'm sure that patience will be all used up.

I also feel like my approach to adoption is different this time around. Hmm - It's hard to explain, but I feel much more politicized around adoption. For eg I went to a recent meeting at my agency, and they said that of those PBMs who come to them for counseling and assistance, 70% decide to parent themselves. I think when I was adopting the first time those numbers might have scared me, but this time around, understanding adoption a bit more, I think those numbers are absolutely wonderful. It shows that the agency is really devoted to helping expectant mothers to parent if that's their decision, and that they are ethically just where they should be.

Have any of you thought about how to talk to your first kids about a 2nd adoption? I don't want to "surprise" Anabel with a sibling one day, but also I don't want to tell her she's about to have a baby brother and then have a match fall through. I'd be interested to hear people's thoughts.