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Yay
well i have fantastic news everyone.. im raising my daughter!
i would have never thought that i'd be in this situation a year ago but now that i am i can't wait.
I went and saw my daughter on monday through the agency and was with her the whole day, not wanting to put her down at all... so my parents and i sat down monday night, but still dind't have the decision, and then yesterday i saw my neice for the first time since xmas (i had been sorta avoiding her and my sister for some reason, i've been pretty jealous and resentful towards them both only b/c the thought of my sister being able to keep her baby and not me ate at me but anways...) and when isaw her and her mommy playing and even while she was throwing one of her 2 year old tantrums it "hit" me, i knew that i needd my daughter back!
so needless to say i stayed up till bout 530am this morning not able to sleep but ot b/c i was sad, but b/c i am overwhelmed with excitment and happpiness, for the first time in MONTHES!!!!!
I called the agenecy first thing this morning and looks like my daughter will be home by tomorrow morning at the latest. My mom and i are going shopping now for some cute outfits and a moniter and just the fun baby stuff... my mom and sisters have already planned an announcing Hanna to my family and friends! I could'nt have asked for more! I am just sooo excited and happpy at last.
I wanted to say thank you to everyone here. your words of encouragement and support has been the only thing getting me through this. Its been such a wonderful feeling knowing that other women out there DO feel the same way and are courageous enough to share their feelings and thoughts with complete strangers in hopes of helping just one person! Well ladies i commend you all, and please know that you have touched my heart and for that i will be forever greatful!
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