[MrsHoot]

I was "adopted" by my father's parents and they have always been Mom & Dad, when I was young and they'd introduce me to their friends I was their grand-daughter - and I'd hear people in hushed voices say "oh, is that the one you're raising?"

As I grew older I was their daughter - plain and simple, the grand prefix was only dragged out when it was needed for legal clarity...I was never refered to as an adoptee, even though I've always thought of myself as one.

For me the term is more one that I drag out to get the families attention - they don't realize the emotional toll my own and my first born daughters adoptions have had on me...the emotional wreckage that's been left in it's wake.

I don't even use that term adoptee or adopted when referring to my daughter, although for clarity on forum boards I have refered to her other mother as her a-mom...again only for clarity, not to show any degree of respect.