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Originally Posted by doinit4me
I think we are all afraid to a degree. Adoptees, bmoms, amoms, family. Everyone is afraid that they might lose something. Adoptee's worry about being rejected again. Sometimes by their bmoms, sometimes by their amoms. Bmoms may fear losing their child again if they do or say something wrong. Amoms may fear that they will lose the child that they raised or that they won't be needed anymore now that the "real" mom has been found. Spouses may worry that we will become consumed with this and "change" into someone else. (A strong person may become insecure by the emotions that they are feeling. An insecure person might feel "stronger" or more determined.)
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Beautifully expressed, Lori. I love your "voice."
There's so much fear, more than enough to go around, and we all share it, no matter where we sit on the "triangle." Seems to me with so much common ground, we should be able to hear each other, empathize, and give each other the benefit of the doubt. The process is so emotionally charged and hits each of us at the core of our essence--our identity--that it's not hard to see why there are such raw insecurities. But I like to think that this common experience of the fear of loss will bring us all into a place of understanding and compassion and health...
Best,
Susanne