Perhaps instead or replying specifically based on emotion it would help you to read some research about the continued abuse women suffer when they have children with an abusive man:
CAT.INIST
Blackwell Synergy - J Adv Nurs, Volume 29 Issue 2 Page 416-426, February 1999 (Article Abstract)
My personal response to what you had to say:
"I can guarantee you that your daughter will resent you for years to come." Wow this is just one of the presumptive statements in your response but because of the importance of clearly getting across my message...i will respond to it although the things u said in my opinion do not really deserve a response...
First and foremost, you cannot guarantee anything especially the feelings of a child who is not born yet and will have the right to see her life how she chooses. If you were referring to the feelings of my daughter, I would not allow the feelings and rationale of a 15 yr old to determine my decision making on any important issue such as this or lead her to believe that her feelings should count in a matter she clearly cannot understand from and adult perspective. I have done alot of thinking, praying, educating myself and researching about children of rape and the outcomes of their lives based on whether parentage was forced onto either person involved in the conception. The risk of my child being emotionally and or physically harmed by my playing superwoman and not realizing how difficult it truly is to get the courts to help keep an abuser away and....how difficult it is to keep people from making comments that are clearly intended to be hurtful, is the issue. Why would i not give my child the chance to live a life untouched by abuse if...the feelings of the children...are really the issue? Also, just as you speak from your personal experience and judge your mother…a child of rape has the same right to do this…and a victim should not raise a child forced upon her without considering this fact.
Second, we do not know each other well enough for you to wonder if I "keep bringing up" what happened to my daughter, that statement is inaccurate and inappropriate. Hiding child molest and rape has been a huge diservice to women for many many years and the silence of people who watch a pedophile move through a family and dont have the courage to warn potential victims is almost criminal...just think how my life may have been if someone told my mom her babysitter moved his nephew to our town to hide from molesting his 5 yr old cousin at age 21. I am proud that I did not choose to lie to my child and risk her being victimized by a known predator. Everytime she has a question or need for clarification or it is necessary for her safety to inform those whom she is in the care of, i will proudly raise my chin and my voice and declare that i stood up to this man and expect them to abide by the protective order, period. No shame here, sorry.
You also made some assumptions about whether i have "dealt with" my own issues. I did not speak about that and to assume that keeping a baby at the risk of exposing it to and dangerous and abusive father has something to do with the mother not "dealing with her issues" is classic victim blaming.
I am not here to stand in judgment of or question the motives of people on the boards, its hard enough to try and speculate about people we have known for years...this is why most child molest and rape occurs from people we already know. I made my post to provide support to others and do not owe you any explanation as to any other supposed motive you assume I have or whether I supposedly need therapy, lol.
I am sorry that your mom did not have the tact to seek out support from responsible adults and was careless enough to allow you to hear her true feelings. I suggest that maybe your projections onto my situation may stem from how hurt you were and as an adult we should be able to have "empathy" for those who went before us. We are so lucky to have people like Oprah and boards like this to openly express ourselves and not live in silence and shame and resources to help us parent and educate us about alternatives to raising kids in dysfunctional and dangerous situations. I stand by what i said, any woman who feels she must place her child in order to give herself a chance to heal and that child a chance to be raised without the stigma of conception by rape should not feel guilty but be supported in her decision and allowed to make her own decision without question as to her motives. I will place this child for her own protection and i am truly thankful that i have matured enough emotionally not to take on a battle i cannot win...i cannot control her father's behavior or choice to be abusive, nor can i control how she would feel if i kept her knowing there was a neutral and safe family to raise her...i can however, control me and making a decision for what is best for her and not my own feelings or hers.