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Just a thought...
Hi All!
Keds, I think you hit the nail on the head! From some of the posts I've read, everyone, adoptees, bmoms etc worry when there are periods of time between communication. Even though I haven't gone through the reunion part yet, keeping fingers crossed, I do think that I would be worried if I didn't get responses right away. If I think about it that would be unfair. How could I expect my bmom to have or want to have contact with me all the time when I don't even have contact with my amom that often. We can go days, sometimes weeks without talking and I never thought that she didn't want contact. How can I put that kind of pressure on my bfamily.
Sometimes it reminds me of that first date. You know where you think it went well, you give him your number and then feel devestated that he doesn't call you the next day. Then when he does call a few days later, you may not talk to him right away to let him know how it feels. It's not that he's not interested, but he does have a life without you. I know it's comparing apples to oranges but if you think about it, here you have a person whom you feel should have a bond, a relationship with. Someone who you are afraid to scare off if you tell them too much too quickly. (Like that date. You don't want to say I really like you! I could see a future with you. That would scare anynoe off!) It's kind of the same with the reunion. We all worry am I going to say too much? Am I going to be to needy? Am I going to ask the wrong questions? If you don't get that call or email right away you wonder if you offended or frightened and are they pulling away.
All relationships can feel one sided sometimes. I've felt that way with siblings, friends, parents. Am I bugging them because I'm calling them more than they're calling me. It's just human nature. People get busy. Things come up. I just feel that we all need to communicate with each other. It's not wrong to tell someone that you feel as though they're pulling away. It is possible that they weren't aware that they were doing it.
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