[CarrieAnn1976]

I am wondering if anyone has any advice on contacting a birth sibling whom I am pretty sure has no idea I exist. There are so many things to think about and consequences to consider... First of all, I found birthmom about nine years ago and she was NOT happy about it... my very supportive amom called and left a message, and one of birthmom's 8 siblings (and the only one who knew about me) called back. They briefly exchanged facts and confirmed that she was indeed bmom. She agreed to answer any questions if I wrote her a letter, however, she was not too pleased. She just couldn't get over how on earth she could be found... like she never thought a thing like that could POSSIBLY happen! At the time I asked about siblings and bf, however she ignored those questions, telling me she would contact bf possibly, but didn't feel comfortable giving out his info. Needless to say I have never heard from her after that and I felt okay with that. However over the last nine years, my core afamily has kind of fallen to pieces and I have often felt a need to find a connection with someone on a family level. I did one of those free people finder things using bmother's name and came up with a daughter, who is 27 (5 years younger than me) and lives out of state away from birthmom. She is an only child. Well, thinking that many, if not most people I know under 30 have myspace, I looked her up, and low and behold a picture and everything. My question is, after all that blah blah blahing... where do I go from here? I have asked friends and family and they all have various answers. I don't want to totally redefine who she is, no longer an only child; I also don't want to demolish her relationship with birthmom all because I am feeling a little lost right now... I know that in contacting her, I would be making sure that I never had a relationship with birthmom, but after 9 years of no contact... I guess that is not a big issue.
Part of me wants to contact birthmom and give her a warning, "Hey, I am doing this... but giving you a heads up if you want to talk to sis first". I am torn. But at the same time if birthmom is really dead set on any contact with me, she may take the opportunity to poison BSis's mind against me... now I may just be being dramatic.
Also, if I do contact BS, what to say... I really don't want to just drop her a note on MYSPACE... although the thought has crossed my mind to do that, not fully disclosing my reasons for contact!
Anyway, ANY AND ALL feedback would be GREATLY appreciated!