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Julie - your comment "this situation of being a birthmother is a relatively small portion of my life" rang true for me. I have spent the majority of my life where being a bmom was a HUGE part of who and what I am. That is no longer the case.
As for reunions and pullback - I find if my bson hasn't responded or I am the one calling/e-mailing it is because I have more time on my hands. He is young, finding his way in the world and I stop myself and think, geez when I was 25 or so did I call my mom every week? No, so why should I expect more contact in reunion! Although, I agree that there is a commitment to acknowledge the other person's feelings when contact/reunion is commenced. There are no hard and fast rules but I think those of common decency and etiquette prevail in that if you are taking a step back, or just entering a particular busy time of the year to let the other person know.
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