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Hi Lori,
Thanks for your response! I am an adoptee, late thirties (how did that happen?!), and have been exchanging letters with my bmom through an intermediary the last 8 months or so. I have been very happy with our exchange. We are both wanting to go slowly.
I should clarify my post - I am not considering any "disengagement" or pull-backs, nor is my bmom, as far as I know - things actually seem to be going well...I am wondering about this in general. I have been surprised that sometimes people seem to make decisions to totally cut out their birthfamilies when things are difficult.
For me personally, I am coming to the conclusion that entering into a relationship with my bmom is a committment. It seems unkind to enter her life then "drop" her someday. So I plan, if she also wants, to find a place in my life for her and keep her.
There's also probably a little bit of fear in me that once the novelty of the new "kid" wears off, that perhaps I'll be dropped. Or that if they get to really know me, they'll find me annoying - there's not that "cushion" that comes from a lifetime of knowing and loving someone. Perhaps they'll not like that I am such a big reader, or so curious, or cheerful, or private. This is who I am, but they might not like it...
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