[ocracoke]

I have to agree with all the others here and say please don't lock her in her room. I understand the land of sleep deprivation but it will eventually pass -- or so I am told. When I brought my daughter home she was 21 months and I planned on co-sleeping. She made it perfectly clear to me that was the only option for her. But she was a very active sleeper and I needed her out of my bed. I tried to move her out of my bed after about 4 months. It didn't work. She got up about 10-12 times a night. I relented and let her back in my bed. After being home 12 months home we tried again and had some success. She still got up about 3-4 times a night but I could coac her back to her bed. After the holiday she has been back in my bed. This week I have her back in her bed. But she is still getting up 3-4 times a night but she is back to the point where she gets a kiss and sent back to her room -- I don't even need to get up. She has been home for 16 months now. I am planning on being able to sleep through the night by the time she is 10.

I think locking her in her room may really cause some issues with trust. She needs to have access to you. I was placed with my adoptive family at age 7 (2 years in foster). I have no recollection of this but my parents will still tell stories about finding me sleeping on the hard wood floor outside their bedroom many night in the first 2 years. I can remember sneaking into their room are a couplle of occassions and leaning in close to them to make sure that they were still breathing then sneaking back to my room. I know when I let my daughter sleep with me she will put her hand over my mouth almost as if she is checking to make sure I am breathing.

I would say, without knowing you or your child, that their are a couple of things that you should consider. Get a counselor/therpist to help with attachment and bonding -- it is a lifetime process. And let her invade your space. Let her sleep at the bottom of your bed or on a mattress on the floor. Bring her in closer, don't push her into the independence that she just doesn't appear to be ready for. Some people believe that a child of any age must be accepted into the family as a newborn infant. Sleep with her nearby, expect lots of waking up time, hold her, feed her, cuddle her. As she feels more and more secure, she will ask for more independence that is age appropriate.

Best of luck,
Samantha