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Karen,
I think it will be good to find some resolution on your own in this matter as you seem to be trying to do. Our children cannot heal us or give us resolution. Only God can do that. Your son has a lot of anger and anger is a way to get some "contol" over whatever pain we may be experiencing. I am getting a lot from this thread also as we all are about the same place in our journey. I think its my ultimate goal to let go. Well, let go of the pain because I will never let my child go in my heart. I understand she can't fit me in her life right now. She may never find a place for me and I will accept that because I have to. I think it is the uncertainty that has been the worst part of it all anyway. As I begin to see certainty that I will never be in her life I can began to accept that. You seem to have al least had some meaningful dialogue with your son.He seems to at least be able to express honest emotion, anger and sadness. If you let him alone he may very well come around. He may not so best not to expect it. I am at a point now where I can say I don't expect anything at all. It has been such a painful experience for me so far I really will do whatever to make the pain stop if that means walking away completely and not looking back.
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