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All of ours knew fairly early. All of them happened in the eighties though. Things may have changed since then.
We first adopted two from Korea at ages four and six. We sent photos and other info to the kids about six months before placement was expected. The foster parents in Korea and their Korean worker helped explain to the kids that we were their new family and what would happen when it was time for the placement.
Our third child came from Brazil at age 11 and the procedure was pretty much the same. A missionary handled that one and explained to our daughter about being adopted, who we were, and what would happen.
The last five, ages 6-12, came from another state and we sent pictures and maybe a VCR tape to help the kids get to know us a little. They had a good understanding of adoption and had been in foster care for years. Their caseworker helped them get used to the idea. The foster parents did not want to lose the money they were getting, so did their best to sabotage the placement before it even started. But that's another story.
Through all of our placements, everyone involved was open about the fact the kids were going to be adopted, before they were actually placed. Due to their varying ages, it's hard to know how much of it they really understood at the time, but IMO it was helpful for them to know our family was supposed to be their last big move, and we would, in theory, be their final set of parents.
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