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I would never adopt a child older than the one(s) I already have. I just couldn't do that to our son, the risks are just too great for me. I would just be really, really careful......some things to think about:
1) will your bio son still be "top dog/head of the kids" or will he lose that place to the older child?
2) how will you make sure your bio son still knows he's the "first" in your hearts?
3) I don't trust social workers and agencies myself - been in too many situations already where they weren't honest, just so they could place a child. Make sure you know absolutely everything about that child, if you chose to bring him into your home.
4) then there's always the dreaded abuse - whether it's sexual or physical, if it's happened to that older child, will he act out or take it out on your bio son? That's damage you can never completely undo, no matter how good the therapy is.
5) will this older child be a good role model for your bio son?
good luck!
Fran
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