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Originally Posted by klsof12
Generally if I get to know a person well enough I'll tell them my story. BUT... I like to have a sense that I can, ya know? I mean... you know when someone's ready to hear and when they're not. You just... know. I have a lot of friends who are still worried about asking me questions, but I don't mind the questions. I just... mind people knowing before I'm ready to tell them. Moreover... I mind greatly if they find out from someone else. Even when my older brother tells someone that we both know, sometimes it upsets me. But I try to let him by with it.
We're very different, my brother and I, because he tells people up front. He's like "Hey, my name's Billy, I have a son, and by the way... my parents died when I was a kid." That way they ether make friends or not.
I, on the other hand, tend not to tell some people for years, though usually they figure out something happened when I don't have a mom and dad like they do.
You learn as you get older how to handle issues like talking about your past. I just... never learned how to handle someone else doing it.
Please, all foster parents here, don't tell your kids' stories to anyone you don't have to. It's their right to live as normal a life as possible. Advirtising a kid's past really isn't fair.
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I can understand your brother wanting to get it out in the open and over with. I'm like you in that it takes me a good while to share my story sometimes. My confidence level in the person really determines what and when I tell them. Unless, someone does it for me.
Time and experience help in knowing what to say to others. I'm still learning.