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Salem,
Have you considered doing some counseling with a therapist who has experience working with adoption and reunions? I think it helps to keep in mind that much anger is associated with pain and fear. I encourage you to work through these issues...it's hard right now, but keep in mind the value of the relationship with your natural family.
Also, even though it is hard, consider sending your nmom an email or a letter to let her know that you are dealing with these issues and need some time to process what's going on. Let her know that you need a time-out right now, but do let her know where you are coming from. It's totally okay to share your feelings with her, or at least share the fact that you need some breathing room for the moment.
I am so sorry for your pain...
Love,
Susan
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