[sweetpea012607]

1. Always be supportive of that child. No matter what they are going to stay with the ones they realize is mom and dad and if you have raised that child right you should have no doubt in your entire mind that the child just wants to know who they look like, what their true heritage is, or even just to say, "Okay, I've met them but they're nothing like my real parents" and by real I mean the adoptive parents. Don't sull up and say that you don't want them going to visit or to just be friends. Don't tell the child you don't like the birth family whether you do or don't. It puts a damper on your relationship with the child. Always tell them you love them and that they can talk to you about it. Be open and show them you really care.

2. I would give the child to the age of 18 so that they will more or less be out of high school and so that they can have time to straighten out their emotions. After they turn 18 you can both find the birth family and work through it together. It makes everything so much easier. Make sure your child knows that you are with them every step of the way. I know you will want to be protective of the child but please, I urge you not to be over-protective. This is a time where the child wants to find out who they are and who they will be.

Believe me I know. I hope this helps.