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We're struggling w/ this, too. I think the changed circumstances are the key.
We are having a little harder time, because her circumstances really haven't changed (except that perhaps they are worse.) And truly, I'm kind of reluctant to emphasize the "sister" relationship that much right now, but that's me, and that's our unique situation.
Do what feels comfortable to you----the one thing we are making sure of right now is that we never lie to H about who anyone is. We refer to N (new baby) by her name and as M's (H's bmom) baby. Frankly, he couldn't care less right now.
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