[lilboo2326]

Ok im new here and Im so lost right now. We were approved to adopt in April of this year. Our intention was to adopt a newborn - 3 months either straight adoption or foster adopt. We have 1 bio daughter who will be 3 this month. We 2 weeks ago we got our first placement, but it was an 11 month old baby boy. Basically his mom does not want to be his mom, thats it and wants to put him up for adoption, but it is foster right now. He is a sweet baby and everything but the bonding is just not happening and he and my bio daughter are both jealous of each other and both want ME only all the time. I feel like my world has been flipped upside down. I care for the boy but do not feel like he is mine or if I could even adopt him. My husband was the one having issues in the beginning and now I am more than him. I mean everytime her cries which is ALL the time, I just dont even fell the instinct to go pick him up, I mean I do pick him up and try to make him fell better but I just dont feel like its working.
I think my daughter is having a hard time because all of a sudden there is somone talking ALL her stuff, toys, mom and dad everything. She says she loves hime but when I am holding him and has to sit with me. Im only 4'10 and she is 36lbs and he is 20lbs. Its hard for me. He hits her when I am holding them both and if Im just holding her he screams and tries to pull her off my lap. He is strong for 11 months like super strong.
I just dont know what to do. I talked to my case worker and she said that sometimes things like this happen and that she does know of one home is our town that would be a good match for him if we change our mind.
I just feel like if we had a new born it would be easier for me to bond and not so hard on our daughter. But then everyone makes me feel guiltly like oh you just want a newborn blah blah blah. I didnt until I saw how things were with lil man. I need advice help somthing.