Tony I missed your reply to me.. Sometimes the software skips a beat.. or something like that.. I hope you are still reading posts on a.com..
UTonyNashm wrote…
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I understand and feel your pain Jackie. I actually found my bmom, Mary. We met once and talked on phone a lot. She has been VERY nice and understanding. She NEVER wanted to give me up. But with all that said, I still feel so confused, I want to be self destructive. I never felt I belonged in my afamily, now I am suppose to feel close to my bfamily or something...This has all been in the last month or two.
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I think we are kidding ourselves when we think we can bridge the gap that opened up many many years ago..
The issues an adoptee sorts is something else again.. the prime experience in this adoption/relinquishment scenario is one of being abandoned..
How can anyone just let that go away.. and say all is well.. when it may not be?
Reunion is difficult... and it brings up things that we humans have a beyond difficult time sorting.. IMO
Its why I haunt these boards.. I find so much learning here..
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It has brought some feelings of understanding--the meeting. But there are still VERY big wounds open. I am very confused. My life is hard enough as it is. I have a lot to deal with.
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I say honor your wounds.. and let them heal in their own time..
And kune I love the Jo Courdet quote..
When I went into reunion I actually forgot that message and tried to be someone I am not and I felt ‘wrong’. I had to remember that ‘cost to myself’ message before I got back on track..
Jo Courdet wrote that book in the sixties.. it went out of print and is now back in print..
Jackie