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I agree it’s in everyone’s best interest to help her make this choice on her own and that is why I firmly believe she and this family need the help of an unbiased councilor – and they are out there you just have to look.
I am sure there are girls who regret their choice (let’s face it; we all have had doubts at one time or another). I am sure there are girls that feel they were forced or had no other options and yes, we can read their stories on the Internet.
What bothers me is the silent group of girls we don’t hear from. The ones that don’t have access to the Internet because they cant afford $40 a month for such a luxury never mind a computer. The girls who are worried about where she and her baby will sleep next month because they bought baby food instead of paying the rent. The girls who are in jeopardy of loosing yet another job because the baby is sick, daycare can’t take them and no else is around to help. I loose more sleep over the girls we don’t hear from than anyone else.
Regardless of her choice, she will be a member of her family the rest of her life, for better or worse and she will hopefully make her choice within that framework. Her chances of success increase greatly by including her parents in any decision she makes. My recent experience has been that outside influences (working against a family) only tend to alienate, frustrate, and lead to more guilt than is necessary. If a person wants to help, work WITH a family - not independant of them.
When faced with the privilege and responsibility of helping a girl make a choice that SHE has to own and live with the rest of her life, my thoughts are that we should all proceed with caution. Answer her questions with facts and leave our biases in our warm and comfy homes.
My apologies if I offend anyone as that’s not my intent. See paragraph #3 above. I am about an inch and a half away from becoming an activist on behalf of these girls and until we (as a society) have a better alternative than our current government programs, I am concerned that many times, parenting is a choice made in the absence of too little information.
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