[Rowan]

Hi Tammie

I am a birthmother too. I agree with and understand your post and have written similar types of posts before.

We have to be realistic about this subject.

There are too many people living on Fantasy Island on this message board at times. I do not mean to sound unkind, but really, no child should have to be grateful for a life that they 'should have' as their 'right'. No parent whether biological or adoptive should expect gratitude.

I do not know if I was 'fit' or not - but I certainly needed help & support to do the job of bringing a child up at the age I was at that time which I obviously did not have.

We cannot expect our children to come running back to us 20 years later and fall into our arms either. All well and good if they do this; but what are the chances of that?


We have to be realisitic no matter how deeply wronged and hurt we feel.

R