[gr8tful2aa]

I am a birthmother, and am sure what I am about to say will be unpopular, but it is my opinion and that is all.
I do not think that a child who has been given up for adoption should be "required" to feel grateful to the birthparents. The child was placed in a situation that he/she had absolutely no choice or say in, was given no alternative in, and then to top the cake is expected to be grateful? I think as a birthmother that perhaps it is a nice notion to think the child is grateful for a situation they had no say in, perhaps in a way it relieves some of the guilt, shame and remorse of giving the child up (my own experience only, I speak only for myself) With that said, I also know there are as many reasons for giving a child up as there are birthparents. For me, I was not fit to be a parent plain and simple. I will not candy coat it or try to make it look better than it was...I was not fit...it was that simple. I am greatful to God's Grace and a wonderful 12 step program that I am involved in today that I am no longer that person. I no longer carry the guilt of my past and would welcome a meeting with my daughter, and hope that she would be mature enough, and prepared to hear the truth, because to tell her anything less would be doing her and myself a great dis-service. I would not want to start a relationship, if that was possible, based on lies. If she does not want to meet me, I will respect that and accept it. I do not feel that she should be "just dying" to meet me just because I happened to give birth to her. I hope this doesn't sound cold or callus...it is just realistic. Again this is only my opinion.
Thanks for letting me share
Tammie