That is an interesting question..no I have not read the book so I do not know all the things adoptees do or don't want to hear. It could be helpful to just share the bullets.
It seems the only question so far is how adoptees feel when someone says they look like the adoptive parent or how the kids look like one another.
I have two brothers, we are all adopted. My older brother and I are from the same agency in Kansas City MO and my younger brother was born in Iowa. My brothers couldn't care less who they look like. I do. Folks used to say I looked like my mom and then others said I looked like my dad. Inasmuch as my mom was 100% German...and sort of looked like the Queen of England...I would say they missed the mark. My dad on the other hand was Irish and a little Dutch..He had brown eyes and copper red hair and was fair complexioned. I looked more like him as I am fair and have auburn hair but blue eyes. And I am ( IAW my non id info) Irish and a tad Scot!
I never got upset when people said I looked like one or the other. I was just amused at their bad eyesight! LOL I do think some folks, assuming they know you are adopted but don't know they know, may say something like that because they think they are being kind or think that such a comment may make you feel more secure. who really knows.
The one thing I am most curious about is that I have a natural blonde streak in my auburn hair and I wonder where it came from.
In my next life, I want to be 5'10" vice 5'6" and other than that I'll keep my features... yep and oh yeah..a faster metabolism so I don't have to work so hard at trying to stay fit!
Life is good.