[thanksgivingmom]

Speaking as a bmother, I tend to agree with Leigh on this one.

If I asked a prospective adoptive Mother and she said No but was planning on it all along, I would feel extremely betrayed and hurt, which is not a great way to start this relationship.

If not asked, it's your call if you choose to disclose or not.

No matter what, I (personally) would be opposed to having an aparent nurse while I was still in the hospital with my child. What if I wanted to breastfeed? I would also feel that it would be added pressure that I HAD to continue on the adoption path and couldn't change my mind and chose to parent, but maybe that's just me.

If breastfeeding is important to you, you just might find an emother that it's important to as well, that WANTS her child to be breastfed by the amom after adoption! Adoption is NOT one size fits all, there's a match out there for you.

You mentioned having a more closed adoption in order to breastfeed - if you WANT an open adoption, I would pursue one and find an emom that wants an open adoption and either is looking for an amom that will breastfeed, or one that it's not a dealbreaker for.

Good luck!