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[quote=hope4us]Our son is 8 years old. We have an open adoption. His birth mother has come to visit twice (he was 6 when he came to live with us). The last visit did not go so well. Lots of emotions on all sides, but mostly our son hurting because he misses his birth mom.
Has any one had an open adoption of older children?
How did you structure it?
How long were the visits?
where were the visits?
Would you do anything differently?
Any direction would be greatly appreciated[/QUOTE
Our kids were 2 3/4 and 5 when they were placed foster to adopt. They were still having weekly visits with bios. After a year the bios were tpr'd. We went six months without a visit, then have had two visits a year since. For the last six years, we have met at Burger King. The visits are around 2 hours each. They meet with bmom, grandma and gpa.
In the beginning, we should have said who would be allowed at the visits. We should have said no boyfriends or husband allowed. We eventually did.
The kids have a hard time after the visits for about a week, then they're back to "normal".
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