[loveajax]

My DH just sent off yesterday this letter to his birth mom (DH is 41...I "think" most of you awaiting first contact may have younger kids, but anyway...). He would absolutely KILL me for posting this, but last night (after he sent the letter) he told me that he really hopes his birth mom contacts him (prior to sending the letter, he said he "simply" wanted to make sure she knew he was OK, thank her, etc.). Anyway, do you think this letter makes it seem like he is "indifferent" to contact....btw, he did put his email and cell number at the bottom of the letter and a return address on the envelope. (I hate to be paranoid, but I'm worried that maybe he should have ASKED her to contact him if she wanted to?).

Dear _____,


My name is ____. I was born on _____, 1966, and I believe that you are my birth mother. I hope this letter doesn’t come as too much of a shock to you but I am simply writing to thank you. You see, recently my wife Karen and I adopted a beautiful little girl, my daughter _____. In going through the adoption process with _____, my eyes were opened to a number of things, particularly the difficult issues and choices that a birth mother faces. In meeting with _____’s birth mother, she stressed that she wanted _____to know that she loved her and that she wanted her to have a better life than she could provide for her. Through updates, she is able to see that _____ is an amazing, thriving, happy little girl. I know times have changed, especially in the adoption world, and I’m sure that things could not have been that easy for you forty years ago. I figured that I would take a little time to give an update of my own.

I grew up in the ______ with my parents, both incredibly loving, supportive and caring people. The love they have shown me (and still do) is almost indescribable. My childhood years were filled with nothing but happy memories and I had the best upbringing that I could ever wish for. I also have an older brother and younger sister, both of whom I love very much and remain close with. Although the three of us were all adopted, I guess you could say we had a very normal upbringing. Our family remains very close and we see each other all the time.

I am married to my wife of nine years, Karen, who means the world to me. She understands me and loves me, and we have a very special relationship. Together we adopted our wonderful daughter, ____, who is now 2 years old. She is the love of our lives and she brings us so much happiness that it is difficult to put into words.

When my daughter _____ was born, I made a promise to her that I would let my birth mother know that I turned out okay. I hope that if you ever had any lingering doubts about the decision you made 41 years ago, this letter will put those to rest. I harbor no resentment at all and I look at that decision as an unselfish and caring one. Again, I don’t mean to invade your privacy or upset you in any way with this letter, and I certainly don’t want you to feel any pressure whatsoever to respond. I just wanted to thank you and let you know that life is good.



Yours truly,


_______

(sorry, for the redacting, DH is an incredibly private person!!!)

Thanks, Karen