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I too am glad I no longer have neighbors who judge me without checking with me first.
First off at least in my state it is not illegal for a nine year old to be home alone. I know becuase I called CPS and asked becuase my son's friend at age 7 was a latch key kid and came to my house many days after school. I was wondering if it was legal for him to be home alone since on days when I had to take my kids to Karate or dance, I had to send him home, since I was not comfortable taking him with me. CPS said that in Texas there is no specific age, it's up to the parents. If it's reported then they take into consideration the neighborhood, the child's maturity age and how prepared the child is (like do they know how to use the phone, do they know how to call 911 and know moms cell phone number and a neighbors number or where to find those numbers, and do they have rules about cooking and such) She also told me they only investigate if there is more to it than the parent just leaving a child home alone for a short time period. Like if the kid is left over night or missing school, or being abused, or left locked in a room for long time periods with no access to bathroom or food or water, or no way to get out in case of a fire.
So at least in this state, leaving a child home alone is not illegal. Good thing since I know a lot of single parents who would have problems since I don't know of any daycares that take kids 10 and up around here. Foster care has different rules though.
Oh and for record pulling kids out of school for something unexcused is against the law. Some nine year olds are fine left home alone, but last year I babysat a twelve year old who was not mature enough to be home alone. Every kid is different. I had a neighbor once who called cps because I allowed my daughter to play outside and she screamed. Had the neighbor bothered to talk to me first, she would have learned that 1. the child was 3 not an infant as she thought because my child was born without legs and is small for her age. 2. She was in a fenced in yard, with the gates locked and with our large dog and my two older sons and I was doing dishes and watching through a window. 3. The trampoline she was jumping on had a safety net and the jumping on the trampoline was reccomended by the Physical therapist. 4. She screamed only because her brother ran into the house to grab something and took her barbie with him. 5. My other son was still outside with her. 6. I sent the son with the barbie right back out to bring her in since she had screamed. (remember I was at the window).
The neighbor reported that she was an infant, outside alone on the trampoline and that she was out there for hours. (not true, she had only been out for a few minutes)
However, even though we were found innocent, it still took up some time and the social workers time. It could have been avoided if the neighbor had bothered to ask me what was going on first.
Perhaps if she had instead asked me if I needed help, we would have become friends instead of enemies.
I think it's sad that we as parents can't support each other better instead of judging or having the first reaction be to report people. Social workers are overworked enough, if they had to respond every time a kid threw a tantrum outside they would be even more overworked and children who are being abused may fall through the cracks.
Also the suggestion that the errend should have been abandoned, the promise to a kid who has had many, many promises broken, broken because of a kid throwing a tantrum. Making a kid go when he is out of control is much more dangerous, have you seen a kid in a totally out of control fit? You cannot drive a car with a kid throwing this kind of fit, they open the door and throw themselves out, and they distract the drive and throw things in a small space where the other people cannot escape. Much more dangerous to try to make the kid go. As for cancelling the errend, then the kid has learned a wonderful lesson that he can control the entire family and cancel an errend any time he wants. He has learned that he can avoid going places by simply throwing a fit. He might could avoid the doctor, or school or therapy, simply by throwing a fit, everyone will stay home. So once she has taught the boy this lesson, what happens if next time the errend is to the doctor for a sick child? She should just let the child miss the appointment? Hopefully this time he learned that the tantrum is not the effective answer to this type of issue. Maybe he learned that when mom says get in the car it's just easier to get in the car.
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