[Bippette]

Okay, I lied. I AM going to try. Maybe that way some people who are contemplating adoption older troubled children will understand what it takes. And those who judge the parents who tackle these kinds of kids might ease up a bit.

The odds of my son being abducted or otherwise injured while home alone for a few minutes in our small town are slim and none, and slim left town.

Now this is said in JEST. If anyone did want to abduct my son 1.) They’d have to catch him first and it would require an Olympic Athlete to do so 2.) They’d probably bring him right back anyway.

You have to understand that this is not a normal nine year old. The rules change when you are dealing with a severely disturbed child. A child who has attachment issues needs their parent to be “strong”. If I allow my 9 year old to control our lives, then we have ALL lost, most especially him. If I allow this “ploy” on his part to work and keep the family from completing an errand, then he’ll do this every time he’s either mad at me, doesn’t want to go, wants revenge, etc. I will become weak in his mind’s eye, and then I’ll never be able to keep him safe from himself or others. If I cannot keep control of him, then his only other option is a RTF.

Its people like my “nosy” neighbors who do not understand this. And they believe that my son could be healed with love, gentleness, kindness. Well I can tell you from experience, that people who treat my son this way find that he turns into an unmanageable tyrant (been there and done that with several teachers including the three preschools he was kicked out of). What he needs is boundaries, structure, consistency, follow through, strength and stubborness.

The next time I tell him to get in the car because I’m in a hurry, he’ll do it. Because he now KNOWS that if he doesn’t, I’ll leave him behind. The slight, slight chance I took with his safety to teach him this lesson is worth the greater gain in safety in that he’s been reminded that I don’t put up with his tantrums and tactics.