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While we may have all given up a child to the care of someone else, I do find it hard to see how we are all the same. My mom gave up 2 boys in the 80's when all adoptions were closed. I only wanted open adoption. Mom doesn't talk about my brothers. I see Abby often. And like I have read from PP's, just because I am kept up to date on my DD doesn't mean that I don't grieve her loss. In some ways, open adoption can be more painful. You are faced daily with the fact that someone else is raising that part of you. In my case, I am generally happy about it. Only rarely now in the 3 yrs since do I cry. But again, Pam and Bruce and I have more than an open adoption. We've truly become family, and that makes it easier.
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