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Normal is a relative term....I reacted in the way that was "normal for me" Had I looked I would have seen a bit of the hard times coming right on schedule based on my prior track record...
First of all, if YOU are hard on yourself you can actually destroy yourself...Give yourself permission to grieve, and adjust. Give yourself permission to take care of you. Never feel guilty for anything....even poor choices....chalk it up as an experience, find the good in the lesson and move forward.
Consider that your baby may also be grieving too. And accept that at the moment you might not be able to do much for her.
In the beginning of parenting my child, I gave myself a pat on the back for each day I was able to "keep her alive" (feed her, protect her) Anything more than that was simply a bonus....and Nothing else was required yet.
Play uplifting energizing music, read a favorite book even if it's just a few pages at a time. Get an "in house helper" I called my 12 yr old sis over to "play with my dd" so I could just give my brain a rest from focusing on her...I was still in the home, but I was able to let someone else tend to all her little tiny immediate needs while I was around for any big ones.
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