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Hi Jannyroo
Don't think I ever had that much emotionally invested in a search, certainly never felt any fear of rejection, just wanted to know what had happened to my sibling and thought they would want to know about each other, and of course they did. Their kids wanted to know about their cousins
Why did / do I want information to make an informed decision? Because of the possibility of issues such as rape, incest, abandonment etcetera. All the more so when as at the present for me, it's a father's rather than a mother's children who I'm searching for.
When I was searching for my mother's family I was conscious that I was not my mothers first child to be separated from her, I was the seventh. The seventh child she had had in eight years. There had to be some reasons underlying that situation
What is it in my posts that you feel reflects pain and anger? I don't feel any anger, pain at what happened to my mother and some of her other children perhaps, but not sure how that is touched on here. I do believe Barnadro's behaved disgracfully both in the 1950s and again recently but that's more of a legal anoyance. I don't think anyone would be happy at having to spend getting on for £10,000 in legal and other fees to get the records of their adoption and time in care
I think your son was very sensible and sensitive in the way in which he made contact, as you'll know from reading my posts I am a voluntary 'Contact Leader' for one the better known Adoption Support Agencies undertaking intermediary work here in England. So I do see some of the real mistakes that people make in their attempts to reunite
I hope you don't mind me asking, has your son searched for / found his natural father / expressed an interest in doing so?
I do appreciate your kind thoughts I am though 16 years down the line and somewhat 'case hardened' rather than pained or angry, well that's how I fell about, bit worrying if it looks like pain and anger from the outside
By the way Barnardo's are fairly good at doing the setting up reunion meetings, its the access to records side they fall flat on, as Barnardos major concern IS protecting the Barnardo's corporate backside. I did think the SW ought to have given us some privacy though, she did tend to linger to no visible purpose
Anyway, perhaps I'm rambling now
Again thanks for the chat and I hope it continues well with you and your son
Best wishes
Robin
harritt.eu
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