[bubblest]

Congratulations on your adoption! I finalized the adoption of my daughter in May and have some similar issues. Her birthmom does not have substance abuse issues, but is developementally delayed. We go through periods where she will send gifts, cards and letters a lot. The gifts are usually not age appropriate for my 2 year old daughter (ie. a diaper bag full of glass figurines, mugs, etc) so I've kept those aside for when she's older and can appreciate them. Since B is so young she doesn't "get" cards and letters so I read the appropriate parts to her and save them for later as well.

At first it made me uncomfortable, but I've realized she is just trying to make sure my DD knows how much she is loved. My hope is that this will help her through any feelings of abandonment, etc, that may come up as she begins to understand that she was adopted.

I'm glad you're having the birthmom meet with the counselor prior to the visit. In my open adoption agreement there is a clause that if B's birthmom is under the influence or inappropriate the visits are to be discontinued.

Good luck to you. I know it's not easy beginning an open adoption relationship in this situation.