Hey, I like that phrase, SilverWitch... it is truly worth pondering.
To rbjay: Everyone's situation and journey is different. Here's another perspective...
I didn't know I was "allowed" to search. The daughter I raised began a search in 1999 with info I provided, but I really thought I was doing something very wrong in providing her with the info. She actually posted here in 2000, although I didn't know that. One day in Jan 2007, I decided to search anyway. My search for my son took 2 minutes and 2 seconds, and I found a profile that he posted in 2005 on this web site.
I never knew I was allowed to search, but the day I decided that it was time to find him no matter what, I found him in 2 minutes, at the first place I looked (this web site).
He is a great young man with a wife and three children, and with an adoptive mother who has been looking for me and who welcomes me warmly, as does his adoptive sister (his adad recently passed away). We correspond regularly, have had two great visits, and are planning a reunion for extended family and his adoptive family next year. This is all so wonderful.
But, the thing is, all of this happened so fast that I didn't have much time to dwell on the "what if's" while searching.
SilverWitch gave great advice, and it's true ... no matter what you think, it's just not gonna be like that.
Spend your time reading and dealing with your issues. The best thing you can do is take care of yourself, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually... Now that you have posted info everywhere, start focusing on your own life. My son and I found each other just before he turned 36... he thinks this is a good time in his life, and I think it's a good time in mine. Might not have gone so well any sooner...something we both agree on.
Best wishes, and take good care of yourself...
Susan
