[SilverWitch]

Is it possible that your daughter has sadness about being given away and it is coming out as anger. Or is she upset that you are placing boundries on your relationship that she did not expect? She was raised with different viewpoints, different attitudes towards expression so she may not react the way you would expect?

I don't know what she feels. She is deceitful to the point of OMG!! I found out recently that she has had more problems with the law than I ever did as a kid and I have never been in trouble as an adult. She tells me lies about other people in her life. But then her amom is the same way - she invites me to her home, knowing I live across the country, to meet my daughter. Very polite, then she has her phone number made unlisted! All I called her for was to thank her and tell her that I appreciated that she loved OUR daughter and cared for her. She also immediately called my daughter and told her that I was harrassing her! I have called her one time! It is like a sick game.

I am sure she feels rejected since I searched and then, after five years of games of "I hate you/I love you" and lies that would curl your hair, I asked for a little space until she was ready to have a real relationship. I don't know how to fix it and in a way, I am scared of her and her problems. She wont get help, her soon to be exhusband number two begged her to get help and finally decided that a divorce was the only way he could keep his sanity.

For me, it is more about what do you all as young adult adoptees, or older ones, consider a good balance and stuff. You know, whether or not I should email or what, cause she is great at hiding and right now she is in hiding mode. I am at my wits end and my family wants her gone and to never hear from her again.

My heart is breaking and I cry in the bathroom at night so my husband does not know.