[Mil]

Hi cnb - I know a year and a half seems like a long time, but in all honesty, I think as far as reunions goes, your reunion is still in it's infancy. You're probably still tiptoeing around each other, being on your best behavior. I remember having a knot in my stomach everytime I saw or talked to my son for several years. And that's in a very good and open reunion. There's just so many overwhelming emotions going on and so many adjustments that you can hardly believe you're actually going to survive it all! There were times I was sure I was going to have a heart attack from all the stress. Or at the very least an ulcer, lol. My life was almost surreal. I could hardly believe it was MY LIFE! I don't know if that makes any sense, but at times it seemed like I was on the outside looking at all this unfold and was just amazed that I was surviving! What truly helped us was email. I was married w/ teenagers and he was married with toddlers. So the only way to communicate privately was mostly through email. And we pretty much had a running conversation for 2 years. I don't think we EVER would have gotten to know each other so well had we not had that luxury. Also, after about the first 6 months, we scheduled a lunch about once every 2 months and we each drove about an hour to meet for lunch which would last for several hours and it was just him and me. He would tell me about his parents or things that happened to him when he was younger and I could just sit and stare at his handsome face. Sometimes I'd be looking really hard at his features, deciding where they came from and which ones came from my family. We've discussed that between us, but it's hard to admit that I don't remember that much about his birthfather. We dated for several months when I was 18 and I haven't seen him since. And trust me, my memory wasn't too good after 27 yrs. But building a relationship take lots of time. Lots and lots. And with limited communication, it will take even longer. I'm surprised you HAVEN'T pulled your hair out by now! But maybe she just needs time. I still have many of the emails my son & I exchanged the first 2 yrs. and I cherish them. It's now been 6 yrs. since we met and while things have settled down quite a bit, there are still times when I get that knot in my stomach when I'm unsure of a situation with him.

But guess what? We're getting our 'family' picture taken in about 2 weeks! How cool is that? I asked him last year about this time if him and my grandsons could come for pictures with us and he said 'sure' with no hesitation. But with the busy-ness of the holidays, I couldn't get an appointment and we didn't get it done. So on the 18th we're getting photos done. I'm so happy that he was so easy about it. I'm excited!

I wish you all the luck in the world - I hope things start progressing and you get the contact you want.

(Reading back, I still feel like I'm the luckiest person alive!)