[CallMyselfEsther]

It's been a month since we have been officially potty training our 4.5yr old. She has been doing remarkably well! I'll share some progress, thoughts, and a question:

Progress- Since instigating potty training, we really only had one horrible evening. After that first night, all has gone so much better. The first day, when we explained to her that she is potty training now, what the rewards, incentives, etc. are, and that she needed to stay out of her brothers room (not fair to the boys to continue to let her pee on their stuff) & brothers playarea (same reason), she wailed, tantrumed, tried to manipulate us, etc. We didn't buy in, just affirmed that we knew she was "lonely, scared, etc." and anything else she barked out at us. We figure she was pissed, embarrassed, or possibly who knows what. And she stood screaming at us during the two times she pooped her pants that night. Good stuff. We had a 180degree turn the next morning. I put her on the toilet every 30-60 minutes like the counselor recommended, gave much praise, clapping, smiles, hugs, stickers, balloons, movie watching, baking, you name it. We had the potty party going on over here. Since that day, she's only had about one accident a week, or less. AND she stays dry at nighttime/naptime. AMAZING! She is so proud of herself and it shows. We are all thrilled. More recently this last week she has been noticing herself that she needs to go potty. Almost a look of a surprise, and announces "I gotta go pee".....and off she goes. We have had to teach her potty hygiene. That really embarrasses her. However, it's a must since she spreads feces all up and over her genitals. She could get an infection if we let her run around like that. We've been working on the "front to back" method. Still a work in progress.

Thoughts- Since she is able to make such remarkable progress within 24hrs of officially potty training, and because it's appeared to be so successful for her, we feel she came into the system unpotty trained due to neglect. The poor kid didn't know that one uses toilet paper. We feel no one ever showed her the ropes. Yesterday she told me she didn't like getting her diaper changed when she was three, so this confirms to me that she was still in diapers with bio family. When she was moved to foster care I think someone just decided she was too old for diapers, but never potty trained. So sad for her. And frustrating I'm sure. The good news is, since this has been such a great experience for her, we think the issue probably isn't biological. But I"m still keeping my appt for the January visit to Childrens Hospital Urology to rule anything out.

Question- Last night we were all at my son's football game. She used the honeybucket (one total at this event. stupid.) Later she pooped her pants. This is a first since that first potty training night. Then she ran to the honeybucket screaming her head off. I ran after her into there. She had her pants down trying to clean it. So sad. Unfortuneately we were (nearly) a mile away from where we parked. So I couldn't leave here there to go get a change of clothes. And I figured she wouldn't walk well all the way back to the car. No one needs to tell me here that we should have brought the change of clothes. Yes, we realize that. When we got to the game, we didn't realize parking would be a problem, necessitating parking so far away. Got sidetracked and only brought the stoller, no bag. Anyway, when asked about pooping her pants, she said she WANTED TO! Argh. Then she started a huge tantrum and wailing. Inconsolable. Going ballistic like she's dying. The only thing that works at that point is to give her space (we've noted from experience). So she was a couple yards away, having this meltdown. She got herself much attention as several onlookers kept asking her "where's your mommy? What happened" I would promptly say "I'm the mommy. I'm here." If it was someone I knew, I quietly explained she pooped her pants. They gave me a smile, nod, and moved on. Our friends know about the potty training. So that was a stressful event. She cried on and off for over half an hour. We went home a little later and bathed her.

The question is, what do you do or would you do, if your child says "I wanted to poop my pants" That was a new one. I dealt with her as quickly as possible. And she wasn't in trouble. Thanks for any thoughts.